Every year, from September onwards, we’re bullied into believing that we’ve got to start preparing for that one time in the year when everybody in the civilised world is supposed to SPEND too much, EAT AND DRINK too much, and above all ENJOY THEMSELVES!! Equally surely, every year, from September onwards, everyone moans and groans about the COST, the WORK, the SHOPPING in over-heated stores, not knowing WHAT TO BUY, the TIME it all takes, the CALORIES you eat, the criminal WASTE, and the cost, the cost, the COST of it all. Everywhere you go, on the bus, in the train, on the High Street, people whinge, ‘God, I hate Christmas!’ and often they add, ‘But you’ve got to do it, haven’t you?’
          HOLD ON A MINUTE!! GOT to do it? Says who?
 
Let’s do a rethink. We’re not automatons. Actually, we don’t HAVE to do any of it. We can choose NOT to be forced down the funnel and chewed up in the Christmas grinder, to emerge exhausted, bad-tempered, and with great holes in our bank balance. Let’s defy the forces of commercialism and RECLAIM CHRISTMAS, replace the scowls with smiles. Peace and goodwill... ‘Oh, if only....’ I hear you sigh. Well, let me suggest some answers.
          You could begin by asking your family and friends if they would be willing to STOP exchanging presents. Just agree not to do it. After all, who needs another ornament? Or yet another tea-cloth? Or some useless hand-crafted piece of tat that will just get handed on from jumble sale to car-boot-sale to bring-and-buy stall? How many scented candles can one person burn? How many boxes of sweet things go uneaten because the recipient is diabetic? A friend of ours, Christmas after Christmas, received a bottle of after-shave from a lady who evidently hadn’t noticed the beard he’d been sporting for ten years. What was she trying to say – ‘I don’t notice you as a person, but look how kind and giving I am?’ BONG!! Years ago, my sister and I decided not to send each other gifts costing more than fifty pence. We had a lot of fun finding and swapping ingenious 50p items. You could do the same. Put the Merry back into Christmas.
          Of course nobody wants to be nicknamed ‘Scrooge’. It takes some courage to be the first to suggest that you might drop the annual exchange of unwanted bric-a-brac, but if you can summon the nerve you’ll be amazed how relieved your friends will be. Believe me. We’ve tried it and it works.
          Same applies with Christmas cards. When our list grew to way over a hundred, costing a small fortune in both cards and postage, one year we cut out the people we could hardly remember. Next year, those people very happily stopped sending to us, too. We have now started to cut out all those who send cards mechanically, with just a scribbled signature, ‘Fred and Ethel’, not even a word of greeting or news. Each year, these people sigh with relief and concur, only too happy to stop so long as someone else takes the initiative. Genuine friends who are far away and who care about you will enjoy receiving a card and maybe a few news headlines to keep them up to speed (but most people hate those computerised round-robins boasting at length about expensive holidays, new cars, successful children etc. etc...).
          Then again... why do we bother to send cards to friends we’re actually going to see? Can’t we agree with each other to make do with a cheery, sincerely meant, ‘Happy Christmas!’ and maybe a chat over coffee, or a cup of tea in your kitchen? Children at school may measure their self-esteem by how many cheap cards they collect, but we’re supposed to be grown-up. Cards are not important. (Except to the people who make and sell them of course, but that’s their concern, not mine.)
          Christmas is, as the cliché goes, a time for children. Well, we wouldn’t want to deprive the little darlings, though frankly when I’ve watched my own grandchildren ravage their way through mounds of beautiful parcels only to emerge from oceans of ruined wrapping paper moaning: Got that already... Oh, not another jig-saw... That’s so babyish! ..This is the wrong size... the wrong colour... hate those... never wanted that... Bo-o-oring!... Don’t they know I’m a boy?... They may not say it aloud but you can see it in their disappointed faces. You want to say to those absent present-givers, ‘Why do you bother? Save your hard-earned money.’ Or, better still, give it to children who don’t have a dozen other people buying things for them. Agree to send a cheque to the Children of the Andes, or the orphans of Africa. Get your own children involved, explain to them how lucky they are to have any presents at all, let alone a slightly smaller mountain this year. Some of the world’s poorest children would be delighted with a hillock. And what about the waste of paper, expensively bought only to be thrown away, adding to the piles of rubbish in our land-fills?
          Then the food... Do we HAVE to have turkey and ‘all the trimmings’? Even if we hate them? Turkey leaves me cold, and as for overcooked Brussels sprouts... Lately we’ve settled for a joint of beef and vegetables we actually like – much more of a treat.
          On the day itself... Try cooking dinner in the evening, rather than at lunchtime. You have the whole morning then to enjoy lazing (or watching the Huns’ton swim!!), something light for lunch, the rest of the afternoon to share the cooking, and when you’ve done eating you can roll straight into bed to sleep it off. Much more civilized. And why not stagger the celebrations, spread it out over the whole ten days or so, instead of trying to cram everything and everyone into one day? If father-in-law hates Auntie May, don’t invite them both at the same time. Make it easier on everyone involved.
          I could go on, but you’ve got the idea. Anybody with me? Want to join a campaign?
          Anyway, Crumble Chrimble to you all

   May B Humbug

6 September

Contemplating writing Chris's story at long last, maybe for publication or perhaps just for the family, depends how it turns out. He had a very unique war experience, as a young boy, evacuated four times and no one of his own to go back to. Possibly he was the longest-serving evacuee of WW2!  Whether I can actually write it is another matter (see next para).

5 September (and how I hate the approaching dark nights of autumn/winter -- but see recipe ideas below)
After a quiet summer allowing Chris to work on his recuperating, we're back with a blast into the 'talks' season (did the first last week and I'm booked for at least one a month until next spring). Still not writing much, though. Have been suffering from the black dog since mid-May and all my creative urges are dead. Not something I like to talk about much so I'm confiding here because... who reads this stuff, anyway?  Also got myself talked into the publicity sub-committee for the next Theatre Club play, which means doing most of the work that includes words: website, various newsletters and press releases etc.  Not that I mind, I would just rather not be bothered. Can't get up the energy to care. I've spent most of the summer with  my head in various books just to get my mind off the darkness. Poor soul, get a life, I hear you cry. Well, you're right. Maybe the next meeting of our writers' group will galvanize me back to activity. We've had a summer break for three months, owing to various illnesses, operations and family problems. All getting older, that's the trouble. It will be good to see 'the girls' again and catch up on their news. We have become an all-female group, except for Chris, whom one husband reckons is the warlock in our coven.

Still, Chris and I are looking forward to a brief break to celebrate our 48th wedding anniversary this month. If we last another two years it'll be our Golden Day.  Doesn't seem possible. Only very elderly people have Golden Weddings. Mind you, I thought the same when we hit our Silver. Being old is rather like travelling towards a horizon, which keeps receding as the miles pass under you. 'Elderly' is always at least ten years older than you are. Like our neighbour, who loves looking after her 'old folk' friends, taking them out for trips, doing hospital runs, delivering meals on wheels around the area, etc.  She's 87!! Makes me feel tired just thinking about it.

Garden has been productive, though. Cherries (a few), gooseberries, plums, runner beans, loads of tomatoes still coming, beetroot, and of course apples by the galore.  I've been trying out new recipe ideas -- apples with honey and ginger; apples with gooseberries (picked earlier in the season); and, particularly successful, apples with orange juice and dried chilli flakes (great hot after-taste for chilli-lovers like me). Ours are all eating apples, so keep their shape if you microwave them carefully, which means you can vary the look of them, too -- little piece or large quarter-apples.  Look our Delia Smith!

July 22nd, quick note to invite you to look for Kev Mackie on YouTube, they've got all his Afghanistan bits from Channel 5 posted now. Thanks to Andy for the headsup. Andy Mackie's blog is another link with the family. He tells me this is now graced with the new term 'bloviating' (I think it means 'boasting via the internet', but who cares! Join the club)

July 21st: After a happy evening on Thursday 16th, doing an entertainment of 'Prose and Pomes' for Heacham Gardeners, in a neighbour's garden just down the road, we had a great weekend celebrating birthdays (mine and daughter-in-law Alison's fall on 17th and 18th July). Spent Saturday 18th at Holkham Hall Country Fair with our UK family, just one downpour when we enjoyed the stalls in the Craft Marquee and then the sun came out and it was a lovely hot day. Parachutists, motorcyclist displays and dogs in the main arena, plus an aerobatic display, and many country pursuits to be sampled, of the huntin', shootin', fishin' kind. Lots of shopping in the trade aisles, especially enjoyed by the female contingent. Kev had a short tutorial in fly-casting which he said taught him a lot; he does go fly fishing when he can but has been having a few problems with the finer points of casting. Barney (the dog) enjoyed meeting all the other canines of all shapes and sizes. Later we gathered in our sunlit garden and had a present-opening session over gins and tonic before enjoying a take-away Chinese meal in laid-back style (literally laid-back after a few glasses of the red stuff). Lovely. Next day a walk in Sandringham woods and a snack lunch in their restaurant before going our separate ways.

Chris has been gathering his forces and concentrating his thoughts in anticipation of his eye op. 0n 22nd (tomorrow) and we had both been hoping it would all be over very soon, but today we were out for coffee when a call to his mobile informed him the op has been delayed.  Further enquiries revealed convoluted reasons but when he explained how he'd been psyching himself up, only to be deflated, they promised they would reschedule within the next ten days. Hope they keep their word. It's maddening. Since he's having the surgery under local anaesthetic he's not looking forward to watching them descend on him with scalpels akimbo. The sooner it's done with, the better.

Short notice engagement for me, local Rotary have asked me to speak for them next Wednesday.  Another 'Lady Farmer' talk, but dinner included. Not that that helps; you can't enjoy a meal when your nerves are in a state, as mine always are for days beforehand, though they usually calm down when I actually get up to begin.

July 10th: Great to have a call from older son Andy, on business in Dallas, Texas, on his birthday this week. He's due in California next week and goes to the Far East again next month. Busy boy. Catch his business blog on the Indium Corporation website.  Meanwhile his brother Kev is this week in Cyprus, tutoring ALCS courses (Advanced Life Saving) for doctors and nurses. Kev has been prominent in Channel 5's series 'Air Force Afghanistan'.

Chris still recovering from his radiation therapy and awaiting results, meanwhile not looking forward to eye surgery under local anaesthetic. All the stresses mean I'm not writing much apart from the two-monthly Theatre Club Newsletter and odd stories for the writers' group -- oh, and keeping up the two websites, of course. All takes time. Struggling with bouts of depression, too. Still we had a good few days on a cruiser on the Broads. Well, 'good' is not really the word, it was a bit curate's eggish. May write an article for the local newsletters about it. If I have the time.  Or the energy.

June 14th: While Chris has been back and forth to Addenbrooke's I've been trying to pick up the pieces and carry on as normal. Spent the past week or so working on the Theatre Club Newsletter and re-doing the Notice Board in the Theatre and the website. I'd done it once, to fit in with our new Art deco logo, only to realise that somewhere in the process the colours had got skewed; so I've had to do it all again. Quite fun fiddling with decorative elements (at least, it's fun when my PhotoShop software plays ball, frustrating otherwise). Have a look and let me know if you approve. That's at  http://www.princesstheatreclub.co.uk

Still having problems connecting with family via Skype but we do get occasional glimpses which is worth a lot. No prospect of any in-person link-ups transAtlantic in the foreseeable future. Flights are much too expensive.

Had a great evening on 2 June, gave a talk at Dersingham, re the 'Lady Farmer' (q.v.), to about ninety people. Much enthusiasm and good come-back from those who had read the book.  Got another date for talk on the PMRAFNS in a couple of weeks time, this one in Dereham Library where I've given several talks already, so must be doing something right.

Bit of annoyance re the Poetry Morning on 23rd (see sidebar) - the Theatre is having lights refitted, or something, on that day, so we'll have to use the bar again. I went to have a look and work out how we can squeeze more in. These poetry events are ever more popular, which is great, but more than forty is stretching it a bit.

Looking forward to seeing most, if not all, of the plays entered in the Adjudicated Drama this coming week. Have got a 'season' ticket for all of them. Always something to learn.

Meanwhile, son Kev is about to be featured in the Channel 5 prog 'Air Force in Afghanistan', Fridays at 8 p.m.  First bit was last Friday (12th June) and we think he'll be featured in parts 3 and 4.

Bank Holiday Monday, 25 May: I've been extremely busy since last autumn, mainly concentrating on planning for and directing Alan Ayckbourn's futuristic comedy Comic Potential for the Princess Theatre Club. Maybe got a bit over-involved to prevent myself having hysterics over Chris's illness. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer around the time we were both appearing in last November's play, at a time when I had just volunteered to direct the spring production. He insisted I should go ahead with the new play and I guess it did give both of us something else to think about. He has been fantastic, coming with me to all rehearsals, reading the parts of actors who couldn't turn up on a particular evening, and generally being his usual jokey, friendly self. During rehearsals he has 'read-in' as both partners of a lesbian pair (not at the same time), a head waiter, a dragon lady, and once memorably did both Mother and Son, with appropriate voices, which had everybody in fits. Best of all, though, was his line as one of the lesbians: 'Now I'm a woman who sleeps in hotels with strange men; my mother would be so proud!'

Halfway through rehearsals someone remarked that the play was a  'difficult'  one to put on.  I hadn't noticed. Maybe ignorance is bliss. Anyway, we all had a great time, which, after all, is the purpose of it all in AmDram -- if you're not enjoying yourself why on earth are you doing it? And most of the audience on all three evenings seemed to enjoy it. In Norfolk they like to boast that they 'do different'.  Well, same goes for the Princess Theatre Club.  I think we brought it off and I certainly enjoyed the experience. It was a hugely creative process, a team effort, and I hope to do it again some day, if they let me.

The play was staged at the Princess Theatre, Hunstanton, on 14, 15 and 16 May, the last night followed by the usual party and thanks all round.  The following Tuesday (19 May, incidentally Chris's 75th birthday) was the club's A.G.M., which turned out to be another good evening, the theatre bar packed with several people standing at the back.  Guest speaker was our younger son, Wing Commander Kev Mackie, talking about his career in the PMRAFNS and particularly his recent tour in Afghanistan, over Christmas, when he wrote and produced a pantomime which apparently went down a storm. Some of his activities over there were filmed by Channel 5 and will be in a series titled, we think, 'The RAF in Afghanistan', due to be shown from September (but don't quote me as things may change).

At the A.G.M. the club launched a super new Art Deco logo designed by one of our active acting members who happens to be a graphic artist (her website is http://eve-art.co.uk), which obliged me to revamp the club website in new colours. Our original club colour was blue, but the new schema is dark wine (purple) and cerise, so I've been working all hours, literally, to get that up and running. Being a total tyro at this website business -- well, until last summer -- I've been going nuts getting everything wrong, having forgotten most of what I learned last year when setting up both my own web and one for the theatre club. Trouble is, I get obsessed and want to do everything immediately, so I lose sleep over it and wake up early and then spend long hours with no breaks. One day I didn't move from my desk from 8.45 a.m. to 5.45 p.m.  Nothing to eat or drink, not even a trip to the loo! Must be mad. Not good for my health. So I went swimming next day to loosen up (it's free at our local pool for youngsters and over sixties). Anyway, the website is now up and running on http://www.princesstheatreclub.co.uk so check it out for yourself and see how you like it.

Next job is to write the June edition of the Theatre Club Newsletter, which is half done. See, I'm 'still scribbling' if only with bits and pieces. Ideas for another book are elusive, but I've begun three plays on various themes and may work on one of those when I finally get the time. Oh, and I wrote a horror story for our writer's Group which made them shiver! I'm slowly amassing quite a collection of short pieces. Any hope of publication? Who knows!

One small coup has been getting The Prince's Thorn on sale in the gift shop at Sandringham, where they've already sold out their first batch. I'm contemplating publishing a companion travel guide so readers can follow 'The Louisa Trail' around West Norfolk and visit the relevant places. Will let you know how that turns out. Much depends on costings now we're pensioners with our income dwindling as interest rates approach zero.

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